I think this is going to be one of my favourite blog entries ever because I am super passionate about this topic. Confidence is such a powerful thing. Confidence changes the way we carry ourselves, the way we think about ourselves and even others. It pushes us to take new opportunities and let go of unhealthy fears. However, confidence is something that can be easily diminished in today’s world because of how easily we can peek into other people’s lives. The Internet has revolutionized the way we access information and with the rise of social media, it became almost impossible to avoid noticing what others choose to show as part of their lives. This at times can make us feel as if we are any lesser than others. In this blog post, I go into sharing what has helped me and how you can also stop comparing yourself to others.
the why
We all have cracks in our confidence that sometimes like to make themselves known, however, when we get into a constant battle with ourselves, it becomes an unhealthy pattern that stops us from living our lives to the fullest. Comparing yourself to other people that you see online or even your friends is a habit that we all absolutely have to shake off.
When we compare ourselves to others, we create a lot of limiting beliefs and I think that this is mainly how they are created in general. COMPARISON IS WHAT CREATES THAT SCARCITY MINDSET AND THE FEELING OF LACK.
I do want to emphasize the fact that getting inspired and motivated by other people’s success (or sometimes even downfalls) is a totally different thing. If somebody’s journey inspires you to be better, whether that would be a milestone or a cautionary tale, this is a completely healthy thing to do as it shouldn’t intervene with the way you feel about yourself. COMPARISON IS WHAT MAKES YOU LOSE SIGHT OF YOUR OWN JOURNEY. Admiration and our passion for growth are what make us purchase courses, read books & blogs, watch Youtube videos that were essentially a product of other people. Learning from each other is absolutely magical.
Comparing yourself to the people who are less fortunate shouldn’t be something that we do either. Your confidence and gratitude should never stem from knowing that you are the most financially successful in your group or knowing that there are millions who are struggling way more than you. By no means am I suggesting that you should be ignorant. We absolutely must acknowledge other people’s struggles and battles. We as humans should support and pick up each other when we’re down.
Can you imagine what would happen if our ability to compare ourselves to others would be taken away?
I believe that there would be way less judgement, envy, and emotions based on lack. Of course, there is a difference between having an opinion and comparing yourself to somebody else, however, don’t you think that even our opinions would get less influenced? The way I imagine it is that so many people would just start living for themselves and stop caring about what people think or what others are doing. This invisible scale of how we measure people’s success would kinda be gone. Insecurities, doubts, and unhealthy thought patterns would be gone. And this is how I try to live my life. It’s not always easy, there will always be those days where you just lose it for a second, but it’s okay. Just make sure you give yourself your best shot at life and loving yourself.
the how
So what are some practical ways that could help you get better at NOT comparing yourself to others and stop caring that much?
1. Consciously decide that you are going to stop comparing yourself to others.
Before you do anything else give yourself some time to set an intention and consciously decide that you are going to free yourself from this habit. Decide that you ARE going to stop comparing yourself to others. Think about how it has affected you in your life, and what consequences you have suffered because of it. Think about the people that you are used to comparing yourself with, and think why them exactly. The key is to admit to yourself that you do practice this habit. In order to lose it, you will have to process it and make an official decision to stop comparing yourself to others + start focusing on your journey. It’s okay if it takes time to set it, don’t use force.
2. Consider longer meditation sessions and visualizations.
If you are somebody who usually does meditation for around 10 minutes only, consider extending them. More importantly, add visualizations to your practice. What it has done for me is that I give myself more time to go into that blissful state where I have time to reflect and actually separate the important things from the unimportant. Visualizations have also helped me see my life in a new light as well. Any time I visualize myself and the things that are coming my way, I understand how many valuable things, people, and experiences I already had or have in my life. For example, no matter the circumstance, I frequently visualize myself surrounded by my amazing family and friends which is something that has been part of my reality for a long time. This reminds me of the important things in life.
3. Sit in front of a mirror and admire yourself.
After each meditation, I sit in front of my mirror and admire myself, the good parts, and the flawed parts. It doesn’t have to be a long stare, but just make sure to look at yourself with no judgement and accept yourself the way you are. It’s okay to cry or even feel like you’re failing at it. Just don’t forget to smile at yourself at the end above it all. This is a small but important exercise that will help you stop comparing yourself to others.
4. Hug yourself at least once a day.
After I do my morning affirmations or after doing the mirror practice, I make sure to hug myself. I also always tell myself how much I love and appreciate myself. When I first started doing it, I did cry. That’s how powerful these small things can be. Remember that you are your best friend!
5. Stop checking yourself in the mirror.
This got especially bad after I started to experience extreme bloating. I used to check what my stomach looks like several times per day. Of course, I would get disappointed if my waistline wasn’t the way it looked before or if my abs were not popping. And honestly, this is something that so many people (especially, women) do. This habit may be hard to shake off, but all I can say is that you DO have to try. Catch yourself doing that and stop each time. Whether that would be face or body related, it doesn’t matter, you have to stop nitpicking every single thing about yourself. That’s why it’s also important to view the mirror as a tool that helps you admire yourself. You may start incorporating STEP 3 into your life to help you do that.
6. Try yoga if you haven’t already.
Yoga is an amazing way to tune in and incorporate your mind and body at the same time. You will feel better and you will undeniably look better as well.
7. Try Qigong.
Qigong incorporates movement, breathing, and meditation at the same time. However, the most important thing it has given me is a new way of feeling my own energy. Qigong will make you consciously tune into the energy not only inside of your body but outside of your body as well. You will have a chance to work with your own Qi, feel it in your hands and play with it! Not to mention, how happy and balanced I feel afterwards.
8. Limit the time you spend on social media.
This is very important. Unfollow people and unsubscribe from channels that make you feel crappy about yourself. Make sure that the people that you see on your social media inspire you and motivate you. On top of that, try to shake off the habit of mindlessly scrolling through Instagram which is not an easy thing to do for a lot of people. You don’t have to delete the app (or apps), but you do have to be intentional with it. Look at how much time you spend on your phone and which app is the most used one. Try to minimize the time spent on it more and more each week.
9. Listen to your intuition more.
Your intuition is something that can put you on the road to success if you start listening to it. There is a reason why sometimes you follow other people’s advice instead of following your gut and end up in a worse situation. If something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t. Even if you see somebody else doing their own thing and you think you should be doing that as well, listen to what your intuition tells you. Follow your heart when it comes to your career, your decisions, and your love life. That doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t use your brain and logic at times. However, remember that you were gifted with the 6th sense because you were meant to use it.
I hope this blog entry inspired you to believe in yourself and follow your heart.
You are amazing and unique.
I am proud of you. Namaste.
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